Indulgent vs generous?

My English Major sister can probably comment as to whether or not I am using the right words here, but the idea/question I am hoping to convey is this -

As a parent, how do you know the difference between spoiling your child and giving them a better life than what you had?

Being a first-time parent, I don't know if this is a "normal" question. Maybe I'm just over-thinking things again since I have a little more time on my hands at the office these days. Maybe I'm just being paranoid that all the squawking my kid does is because she's turning into a brat. Or maybe this is a legit parenting question?? I try to avoid the magazines, self help sites and the section in the library dedicated to parenting. I don't know if it's because I'm afraid they are going to confirm my worst nightmares, or if it's because I think it's impossible to give advice that will fit every child out there.

So - now that I'm stuck in my own self-made dilemma, I only have my blog as an outlet to ask out loud the questions that just make my husband roll his eyes and return to reading the 4th car magazine that came in the mail today.

Don't cry a river for me, since I ended up basically just fine, but as a kid growing up, my parents were not "well-off" by any stretch of the imagination. We didn't go overseas for summer vacation. We didn't have a "cottage" in upstate NY or out on Long Island. I didn't have matching bed linens because we just bought whatever pieces we needed and whatever was on sale. This was something I didn't think would bother me, but really, now that I'm an adult, I decided I like having a matching set of sheets.

Let's run with this whole sheets/bedding ensemble thing here as an example. So - now that I know that I think it's kind of cool to have a "set" of matching sheets/duvet/pillow cases, hell, I'll even breakdown and get the dust ruffle - I planned on getting Porkpie her own sheets for her own bed when she's ready to graduate out of the crib. This might seem like a no-brainer, but what about other things? Like toys? Do they all have to have lights, bells, batteries or speak three languages? How about clothes? Are hand-me-downs when you're 5 years old a problem? I got her a chair for her 1st birthday from Pottery Barn Kids. I don't spend that much on my own furniture, but god - it was so cute.

I think I can strike a good balance between giving her nice things and spoiling her. I hope I can tell when I'm going overboard with the outfits and clothes shopping. But am I making up for some of the things I wished I had as a kid? Should I go buy her "skinny jeans" because I never could afford designer jeans when I was growing up?

I suppose it's a bit early to jam her booty into a pair of skinny jeans, but you know what I mean - right? And I think I'm putting off some of these issues and chalking it up to the "she's too young to know the difference" attitude. But one day she *will* notice that all the girls in school have a certain kind of backpack or the newest scooter or something. Will she care? I don't know. And if she did - will *I* care? Ugh.

All I can do is hope for the best I guess. Until then, I'll oscillate between the joy of "she doesn't know any better" and the angst of "what if she wants name brand denim before she's 10?"

Walking - what a mixed blessing

Cue Patsy Cline please:

I go out walkin'
After midnight
Out in the moonlight
Just like we used to do
I'm always walkin'
After midnight
searching for you

I feel like this first year has been just trying to move from milestone to milestone. The first few weeks it's all about weight gain and eating/pooping. You move on to rolling over, teething and sleeping through the night. Next comes Sitting up, starting solids and smiling with intention. Soon you're watching your kid stand up, hold a bottle without your help and crawl around the floor chasing the dog.

Each of these phases are anticipated for so long, and then they come and go so quickly. You forget how awesome it was that you could put your kid down on her butt without her head-heavy top half pulling her over on to the floor! That moment of celebration "Yay! She can sit up by herself" gets replaced immediately by something else.

Walking has been the most recent physical developmental milestone that we hit and let me tell you - it's craziness. There is a lot of joy in watching Kaitlin's face light up with a big old smile as she teeters like a drunken sailor two or three steps unassisted. You can't help but be happy because you can see how she is so happy. And the progression of distance or mastery of stairs just adds to the enthusiasm. What is different this time (at least to me it seems different) is how this walking thing has really changed the parenting game.

Gone are the days where I could leave Porkpie in the living room unattended for a few moments so I could go get her bottle and a bib in preparation for her morning feed. If I do that now - I'm likely to find her walking towards the bathroom so she can play with the roll of toilet paper or try and lift up the toilet cover. The importance of closing doors, lids, cupboards and the dishwasher has skyrocketed up to the forefront of my brain. Watching your 1-yr-old play with dog kibble WHILE the dog is eating is enough to motivate you to get off your duff and hustle over to give your dog some peace while eating.

But while you run off to see if small fingers are exploring electrical outlets, try to remember a few things:

1. This too shall pass
2. As much as you think your sanity will leave you, look into their eyes when they turn around and smile at you. Hold on to that feeling of joy and accomplishment they just shared with you. 
3. And if it's too quiet in the other room where you left the kid - there's probably a reason and you should run and check it out a.s.a.p.