As a parent, how do you know the difference between spoiling your child and giving them a better life than what you had?
Being a first-time parent, I don't know if this is a "normal" question. Maybe I'm just over-thinking things again since I have a little more time on my hands at the office these days. Maybe I'm just being paranoid that all the squawking my kid does is because she's turning into a brat. Or maybe this is a legit parenting question?? I try to avoid the magazines, self help sites and the section in the library dedicated to parenting. I don't know if it's because I'm afraid they are going to confirm my worst nightmares, or if it's because I think it's impossible to give advice that will fit every child out there.
So - now that I'm stuck in my own self-made dilemma, I only have my blog as an outlet to ask out loud the questions that just make my husband roll his eyes and return to reading the 4th car magazine that came in the mail today.
Don't cry a river for me, since I ended up basically just fine, but as a kid growing up, my parents were not "well-off" by any stretch of the imagination. We didn't go overseas for summer vacation. We didn't have a "cottage" in upstate NY or out on Long Island. I didn't have matching bed linens because we just bought whatever pieces we needed and whatever was on sale. This was something I didn't think would bother me, but really, now that I'm an adult, I decided I like having a matching set of sheets.
Let's run with this whole sheets/bedding ensemble thing here as an example. So - now that I know that I think it's kind of cool to have a "set" of matching sheets/duvet/pillow cases, hell, I'll even breakdown and get the dust ruffle - I planned on getting Porkpie her own sheets for her own bed when she's ready to graduate out of the crib. This might seem like a no-brainer, but what about other things? Like toys? Do they all have to have lights, bells, batteries or speak three languages? How about clothes? Are hand-me-downs when you're 5 years old a problem? I got her a chair for her 1st birthday from Pottery Barn Kids. I don't spend that much on my own furniture, but god - it was so cute.
I think I can strike a good balance between giving her nice things and spoiling her. I hope I can tell when I'm going overboard with the outfits and clothes shopping. But am I making up for some of the things I wished I had as a kid? Should I go buy her "skinny jeans" because I never could afford designer jeans when I was growing up?
I suppose it's a bit early to jam her booty into a pair of skinny jeans, but you know what I mean - right? And I think I'm putting off some of these issues and chalking it up to the "she's too young to know the difference" attitude. But one day she *will* notice that all the girls in school have a certain kind of backpack or the newest scooter or something. Will she care? I don't know. And if she did - will *I* care? Ugh.
All I can do is hope for the best I guess. Until then, I'll oscillate between the joy of "she doesn't know any better" and the angst of "what if she wants name brand denim before she's 10?"
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